Math and Physics

• What did one math book say to the other math book? Wow, have I got problems!
• When things go wrong, what can you always count on?  Your fingers.
• Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long? Otherwise it would be a foot.
• Uncle Kent's two way flying paradox

• A man hands you his 3D glasses but the blue lens is missing. You put them on and proceed to math class where there is a lecture on a white dry erase board in red writing. What eye is the red lens over if you cannot seem to interpret the logic of the lecture well? The right side
• Hollow and solid disk race down a hill, who wins? The hollow disk loses because less of the gravitational potential energy goes into translational kinetic energy

• A person walks 10 miles south, 10 miles west and then 10 miles north and ends up in the same place, but it's not the north pole! Where are they then? He started 10 miles above a circle of circumference 10 miles just above the south pole, went south, around the circle and back up.

• You have 3 doors to chose from to get a new mesa boogie guitar amp, you choose door 1 and the host says I will remove one of the others that I know the amp is not in, would you switch from your original selection? Yes, the chance of you guessing wrong is 2/3 at first, so you better switch to the other because if you were wrong the first time, then switching doors will gaurantee you the amp! Use exaggeration for the intuitive version. A man says there is a nice Les Paul behind one of 100 doors, you choose door 37 in which you have a 99% chance of being wrong and he takes 98 away and leaves door 89. The guitar is probably in door 89!

• Are there two people on earth with the same number of body hairs? Assume the least amount of body hair is 0 and the most is a strong over estimate of a huge fat dude with thick hair over his whole body amounting to 10 million hairs. Now send in a line of 6.8 Billion people in to a row of 10 Million rooms. Even if the first 10 Million people all went into different rooms a degeneracy becomes inevitable.
• Two guys argue about whether a cubic open top container is half full or not, how can they proove it with out removing the fluid or using measuring device? Turn it 45 degrees to see if the water comes to the edge and goes to the back edge.

General

It happens once in a minute, twice in a week, and once in a year. What is it? 
The letter "e"

What has 4 legs and only 1 foot?  A bed.

What goes up and down stairs without moving? Carpet
Give it food and it will live; give it water and it will die. Fire
I run, yet I have no legs. What am I? A nose
Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. A Match
What goes around the world and stays in a corner? A stamp
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel
The more there is, the less you see. Darkness
They come at night without being called and are lost in the day without being stolen. Stars
What kind of room has no windows or doors? A mushroom
I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I? a sponge
The more you take the more you leave behind. Footsteps
Light as a feather, there is nothing in it; the strongest man can't hold it for much more than a minute. Breath
As I walked along the path I saw something with four fingers and one thumb, but it was not flesh, fish, bone, or fowl. Glove
What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps? River
I went into the woods and got it, I sat down to seek it, I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it.Splinter
What can fill a room but takes up no space?Light
It is weightless, you can see it, and if you put it in a barrel it will make the barrel lighter?a Hole
No sooner spoken than broken. What is it? Silence
Only two backbones and thousands of ribs. Railroad
Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish
You can't keep this until you have given it. apromise
What can go up and come down without moving? Temperature
What do you fill with empty hands? Gloves
What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don't want to use it? An anchor
What goes up and never comes down? Your age
What has a foot on each side and one in the middle? Ayardstick
What has to be broken before it can be used? Eggs
What kind of coat can be put on only when wet? Paint
What question can you never answer "yes" to? Are you asleep
What's the greatest worldwide use of cowhide? Hold cows together
Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white?" or "The yolk of the egg is white?" Neither yolks are yellow
You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I? Telephone